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The Absurd ABC
by Walter Crane
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·WALTER·CRANE'S·
·PICTURE·BOOKS·
·THE·
·ABSURD·
A·B·C
·JOHN·LANE·
·THE·BODLEY·HEAD·
·LONDON·&·NEW·
·YORK·
The absurd ABC originally published 1874. |
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A for the
APPLE
or Alphabet pie,
Which all get a slice of.
Come taste it & try.
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B is the
BABY
who gave Mr Bunting
Full many a long day's
rabbit skin hunting.
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C for the
CAT
that played on the fiddle,
When cows jumped higher than
'Heigh Diddle Diddle!'
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D for the
DAME
with her pig at the stile,
'Tis said they got over,
but not yet a while. |
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E for the
Englishman,
ready to make fast
The giant who wanted to
have him for breakfast.
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F for the
Frog in the story
you know,
Begun with a wooing but
ending in woe.
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G for
Goosey Gander
who wandered upstairs,
And met the old man
who objected to prayers. |
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H for poor
Humpty who
after his fall,
Felt obliged to resign his
seat on the wall.
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I for the
Inn where they
wouldn't give beer,
To one with too much
and no money, I fear.
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J does for
poor Jack and
also for Jill,
Who had so disastrous
a tumble down hill. |
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K for calm
Kitty, at dinner
who sat,
While all the good folks
watched the dog & the cat. |
L for
Little man, gun and
bullets complete,
Who shot the poor duck, and
was proud of the feat. |
M for Miss
Muffet, with
that horrid spider,
Just dropped into tea and
a chat beside her. |
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N for the
Numerous children
they who
Were often too much for
their mother in Shoe. |
O the Old
person that
cobwebs did spy,
And went up to sweep 'em
Oh ever so high! |
P for the
Pie made of
blackbirds to sing,
A song fit for supper
a dish for a King. |
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Q for
Queen Anne
who sat in the sun
Till she, more than the lily
resembled the bun
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R stands
for Richard &
Robert, those men
Who didn't get up one
fine morning till ten!
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S for the
Snail that showed
wonderful fight,
Putting no less than twenty-four
tailors to flight! |
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T stands
for Tom,
the son of the piper,
May his principles change
as his years grow riper.
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U for the
Unicorn,
keeping his eye on
The coveted crown, and
i'ts counsel the Lion.
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V for the
Victuals,
including the drink,
The old woman lived on
surprising to think! |
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W for the
WOMAN
who not over nice,
Made very short work
of the three blind mice.
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X is the X
that is found upon buns,
Which, daughters not liking,
may come in for sons.
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Y for
Yankee Doodle
of ancient renown,
Both he & his pony
that took him to town.
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Z for the
Zany who
looked like a fool,
For when he was young
he neglected his school. |
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